I recently attended a funeral for the wife of a cousin of my mom’s (so my 2nd cousin’s wife?). I have only met this family a few times and was asked to attend on behalf of my mother and her siblings.
It was a catholic mass in a beautiful, new-ish cathedral. I arrived earlier than I meant and sat near the back for the duration of the rosary.
I’ve not practiced the rosary, so I was sitting in silence, taking it all in. As I was listening, I realized that this practice of reciting the rosary was very meditative. So I asked myself, how could I recognize this act in a way that was genuine to me. The answer: meditate.
I grabbed my phone, stealthily put in my earbuds, and turned to the day’s Headspace prompt. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was so apt for being in a church, at a funeral, reflecting on the life of my 2nd cousin’s wife and my own. "It's the uncertainty, insecurity and unknown that provides the beauty, wonder and preciousness of life."
Hearing the words about managing the unplanned events that have come our way and navigating them with calmness and ease. This is not something that comes naturally to me. I am a planner. Organizer. Everything has a time and place.
This brought me back to the trip in 2017, when everything fell apart the day we planned to leave for a weeklong trip to the PNW.
Our homebuilt camper had battery and water troubles. It was a mess. If we wanted to make this trip work, we had to make the call to abandon the trailer and any plans to camp at National Parks on the way and make something work. We had a Homebrew Conference planned for the second half of the week in Portland and needed to get there.
My anxiety was taking over. But somehow, my ability to take charge and create calm in a chaotic event was ready to take over. My two skills were in competition.
As we pulled out of the driveway in our truck, with the bed containing the full cooler and all our supplies from the trailer, I began searching for places to stay that night, somewhere in Idaho Falls, a day's drive. I had about an hour and a half before we hit the mountains on I-70, and I would lose signal.
We spent the day’s car ride admiring sites we’d never experienced before. Just talking through options of what we would do. How could we still hit as many NPs as we could? Where should we stay for the first half of the trip to do things?
We decided to stay in the Seattle area. I did some research and tried out some sites I’ve never used before, and we opted for a $70/night hotel in Olympia, WA. It was an interesting hotel with an AC that couldn’t keep up with the heat and a fire alarm that went off at 2a the first night but didn’t actually work in the hotel rooms, only the hall. I would never stay there again, but it was the perfect spot for us to set up shop and take day trips around the state. We saw old friends we hadn’t seen in several years. We visited Olympic National Park and Mount Rainer National Park. We checked out breweries new to us. It wasn’t the trip we planned, but it brought so much joy and so many memories that I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Epilogue: On our drive from Olympia to Portland, we drove through a town on the states' border. I couldn’t figure out why I suddenly thought of The Goonies. It was an overwhelming feeling. So, I quickly googled it as we continued to drive. Holy shite! I completely forgot that Astoria was where the story took place and where the movie was filmed! We were in Goonie-land! We had to stop. And like everything else on that trip, we let our whims carry us. So we did. I found the rocks where the pirate ship sailed, and Matt took some wonderful pictures.
From that vacation on, I’ve learned of the beauty that comes from having some things figured out and goals for a trip. We’ll figure the rest out later. Now, we plan dates and rough locations where we'll settle for those dates and then have a theme or goal for what we want to do there (Austin, TX: Beers, Blues, BBQ is a common one).
While it goes against so much in my gut, I’ve learned to embrace it. Those unexpected moments, the things that go wrong, that’s where the real memories are made. That’s what brings the raw beauty. That’s what brings those feelings. Sitting with that is not easy, but it also can bring so much ease to one’s life.
